Questions

I am awake at 2:00am with fears that only God can calm. I had shared with a friend, not long ago, that I felt as if I was finally able to see the reason for all the struggles of the past 5 years. Lessons I probably wouldn't have learned if I didn't go through the trials. I can see how I put human relationships above those of my Father in Heaven. Once those relationships faltered for one reason or another, I was forced to rely on God and found that in Him was the only true peace. It didn't matter what storms were raging around me, when my Father had me wrapped safely in his arms.
So why this current trial? Did I fail to learn something the first time around? Is He testing me to see if I still trust Him? I am praying. Praying that I can turn off the whispers of Satan. He tells me God has turned his back on me again. He keeps me up worrying about how we are going to pay the bills next week. But I know that just like every other time, God will provide. Things will be okay. I just have to keep trusting and hanging on.